Let me start this off by saying I finally hit my rock bottom. That dose not mean I’m going to become unhappy, and I am so grateful for everything I have. I just cant keep going on like this. Here is the kicker. I used my last ounce of energy to do the laundry and I washed my new Iphone, that I lease, in with my bedding. I have no savings, money left, and that stupid device was my job. Everything happens for a reason. I’ve avoided this but it must be. I am about to pour my heart out, and I never do this because I tried to do it the right way! But I have a strong urge to express this because it is eating me alive, and maybe it will help you feel less alone if you can relate. If you follow me or are aware of my situation you know I am an extremely talented, disciplined artist and designer. I also love to model and collaborate. I grew up extremely poor and put myself through college at 17. I had my first job at 14 and have worked pretty much since then, until I recently quit my day Job to fulfill my dreams. At least I thought. I have done it all from cleaning, gift shops, face painting, murals, commissioned art, Freelance graphic design,record thrift store manager, Guess, AX, boutique manager, even owned one for a brief period too! I sell wholesale too! I was balancing work and running my online shop but it was too much to handle. I blew up too fast and have such a high demand for my items, and owe so many stores and people products. I feel like I am losing my credibility and my mind. I am completely overwhelmed and lack luster these days. I am like Austin Powers When he lost his mojo .I also haven’t even been able to blog here, share all my self help, beauty advice, recipes, DIY and fashion styling tips. I have so much to share too! All I have been doing is sewing until my fingers bleed and crying, and barely making enough for new supplies and shipping. I’m making sales but I need money for bills, food, rent and College loans. Everything is piling up and i am losing my shit! I don’t want to even get into how bad my living and health situation is, and I am desperate for money. Like I need to move out yesterday and get some cavities pulled. I’m burnt out and can hardly create anymore but I have too. From the graphic design, advertising, ideas, execution, modeling, photos, and shipping, I do It all. I feel like my dreams are slipping through my fingertips and I am about to fall of the wave. It feels like living in quicksand. The worst part is I am desperate, working myself to death and ruing what I love doing the most! Prostituting my art. I dream of a benefactor supporting me so I can finally paint stress free and put magical vibes into my work. If you know one I promise I am worth the Investment. I really believe in myself and have so much art that needs to be created. I bought a domain for my brand and have been planning every detail trying to launch it for 7 years but I have no time. The worst part is my brain is like a computer with all the tabs open. Even with yoga and meditation. It has been a heavy year for me and the struggle is real. It is real for so many others too, I see it all around and I wish there was more I could do, but the broken can’t heal the broken. You have to have something to give, to give, and I no longer have it. You need money to make it and I am in a hole. This is not meant for pitty, just a cry for help,support, and love. I added a donation button here If you want to ever drop some funds my way through paypal. I will send you something back depending on the amount, a letter, painting, or custom piece. You can always purchase something from my shop : http://macymarie.storenvy.com/ I even started adding my paintings. I am also a really good stylist, makeup artist, personal salesperson, graphic artist, painter, and manager. I am looking for a good paying job as well! Or at least descent one, part of why I quit my last job was long hours, hard work, and I can”t even get by. Now I know a lot of you can relate to that. I plan on making a kick starter soon too. Thank you!I love you, and I will keep on Truckin, and inspiring. xxxx I listed this Bettie Page one earlier http://macymarie.storenvy.com/ It was my first painting! Fix Me, Fix, my head, Fix me please, I don’t want to be dead.