My Skin suit, my mortal disguise.The bag of bones I live to decorate, and shake to The Cramps in!
I’ve never been very outspoken on the issue of Body Positivity, probably because it took me so long to really love myself fully, and there are too many cute clothes in the world to be naked. But it is a very important topic, an to so many young girls in living in a photoshop world. So I wish to relate and hopefully inspire. And I say young because as you get older it gets easier. You know yourself better, your taste gets better, and you get lots of practice dealing with the curve balls life throws at you. I can not stress enough that life is short, this body we are in is temporary, and as soon as you start loving it, others will to! Accept your flaws and laugh so hard at them nobody else can, then we have no issue. Nobody, but yourself can make you feel less, and you can’t change who you are, so be FREE. In the words of Zoolander “I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
First some brutal honesty. Since A girl, I’ve stretched, danced, worked out, played sports, and practiced martial arts. I’ve always been sassy,witty, outspoken and comfortable in my own skin, but I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thrown up many meals along the way. I’ve never felt guilty about throwing up my food .In fact that scene in Zoolander made me laugh hysterically when they laughed at her bulimia confession like its no big deal, its a good way to drop a few pounds. But not so funny when you start to drop teeth! I also started drinking at 13, going to punk shows, any show, and hanging with bad crowds. I was always chubby and tired, and as tough as I was, I cried when got called fat, or a slut. I am still a crybaby,but not because of how I look! EVER! I always had a pretty face, and figure, but refused to see. I felt ugly, and suicidal, and did anything to feel accepted. My girlfriends and I lived on scales. I helped my mom raise my two brothers in the streets, both struggling with addiction and abuse issues, but that is personal. I used to drink vodka water all day every day from school to the gym. I drank a big bottle of whiskey a day too, 4os, beer whatever. I even passed out at the YMCA post workout and was dragged out by the janitor. The ugliest it got I was eating heads of lettuce 24 7 and my brother had to pick me off the stairs crying for a burrito. My mom wrapped me slim fast on Christmas and teased me about my weight forever. I ate my feelings then purged them. I was confident but let words break me. I was teased so hard for my big lips and now its my favorite feature, chipped tooth and all. I learned life on my own, and how to deal with bullies,critics, and assholes alike. I grew thick skin. I went to so many schools and lived in so many places its not even funny. I got good grades, studied, and went to class because it was safer and saner then home and the streets. I was a social butterfly because I had to be, but learned to walk alone. I was a loner and spend most of my time lost in my art. Never thinking about my looks, Never touching my body. I was never comfortable having sex until I met my boyfriend who loves every inch of me and my body. To wrap up this paragraph, it takes time and experience to know and love yourself, but it doesn’t have too! Free your mind and the rest will follow. We live in a different time and have the power to reach out for support,share love, strength, and knowledge.
The Times They Are A Changing Life is more than fat, thin, ugly, pretty, intellectual, dumb, rich, poor… Its so much more then this superficial exterior and EGO that blinds us, and and backtracks us from our spiritual growth. Love The Skin Your In and get used to it. It took a long time for me to get past my issues and become awake. The mind body spirit connection is beautiful and real. In fact it was 27 when I learned Chrysalis. Lets be honest Life has not been a walk in the park and I numbed myself all the time to stay alive. Then One day it clicked. I read a book, well many, but one stuck. It was Why French Women Don”t Get Fat. They don’t think about it that’s why, they enjoy life, and each meal is a ritual. Life is special, and your body is a temple. Mine was amusement park and I still cant look at a beer and not be tempted to pound it. But I looked in the mirror and said its time for a change, you are what you eat, you are not getting any younger, and you deserve a better life than this. I worked out hard, day and night. I stated to love the person staring back at me so much I couldn’t stop looking. Self exploring, being naked, playing dress up in clothes I never thought I could wear, and taking pics of myself. People thought I was being a narcissist but I couldn’t believe all the stuff I could finally wear. That and the birth of social media we all dip our feet in. Fashion blogs,and so forth got me excited and I wanted In! I began writing about my life, healthy living, and spreading positivity, and sharing my art as well as my story.The word fat lost all power over me, as did any insult. I was and am on a positivity high. Basically I choose to live this way and there is NO fucking way the likes of you are raining on my parade, got it motherfucker!!! I’m stoked and staying this way. We are all beautiful, and are one. Forget this whole me me generation and being a walking billboard. Be yourself, be happy, and be free. Open your minds, your hearts, and accept each other for who they are. Stop shaming and start loving the skin you were born in! Free The Human Body! Revolution…check out coloredflower.tumblr.com #myskinsuit and get with the program. Also Free the nipple, c’mon people its only human, and they look much better than a man’s, in my opinion. If you don’t like don’t look. Learn to worry about yourselves and leave others be. I won’t be showing mine for respect for my boyfriend but I love them all the same.
chrysalis We come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors, but often forget we are also all different ages. I believe Age is irrelevant. We all have our own pace, and become awake when we are ready.A 36 year old woman who has had a lifetime of practice, and tips is going to be wiser and sharper at life than a 15 year old with a new phone! Seriously I get better every year. Advanced Style is a huge inspo of mine! But the older bombshell no longer has the youth or fearless attitude of the teen. Give and Take. You cant be angry when a nasty comment gets dropped on your page by a child, think about how you acted and all the stupid things you regretted saying growing up. We all make mistakes, learn, and then move on. Social Media is an uneven playing field and should by no means be a competition. We are all our own person, beautiful unique creatures who have a purpose in this world. You will find it when you stop worrying about the exterior and working on the interior. So lets unite and spread the word of self love, and seeing past our physical being. We are here to learn, grow, help each other, and make connections, not to compare ourselves to others. Lets all stop talking about ourselves and using labels, lets exist and destroy our insecurities. We are all bags of bones that deserve to be treated equally, and with respect. Get naked and be one with nature. Don’t be ashamed of your body ever, be proud of who you are, and have fun with it. xoxo